Mindfulness is Not Always the Answer

Mindfulness is a helpful practice that can contribute to overall happiness, but it may not always be the answer you need or are looking for. Mindfulness, the hugely popular zeitgeist theory seems to have morphed into the concept that to be happy we must live fully in the present moment. Taken to the extreme this can lead to total focus on whatever you are doing or experiencing “Right This Second”. Some see Mindfulness as a revolution. It is sweeping through many aspects of people’s lives, from mindful parenting, mindful business dealings, mindful eating, and even mindful chores to mindful walking, promising all types of revolutionary changes in people’s lives.

Happiness is a complex and multifaceted concept that is influenced by many factors. While mindfulness can be a helpful tool for cultivating happiness, it is not a standalone solution to all of life’s challenges and is actually beneficial for many other reasons. Other factors in life should be an important source of joy and happiness. So, while mindfulness can be a useful practice for cultivating happiness, it is not a panacea or a one-size-fits-all solution for everyone.

Mindfulness simply involves focusing your attention on your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations as they arise in the present moment. Mindfulness does not magically create happiness or a better life, it is just a tool which can be used for intentionally paying attention to the present moment and not just with focus, but also with curiosity, openness, and non-judgment. It is often the later aspects which are overlooked in the rush to embrace mindfulness, or follow the latest mindfulness guru or influencer. Mindfulness should be taken as one aspect of many meditative practices which can be used for focus and the reality is that some people do really have problems with the proverbial “Raisin of Mindfulness”. It is important to explore a range of different practices and techniques to find one that works for you to cultivate lasting happiness and improve your mental well-being.

Remember that while Mindfulness is a great tool, it is like a hammer, you cannot do every job with a hammer, and sometimes you need to use a different tool.

Influencer for Life

Increasingly all of our lives are being affected by the cult of social media and celebrity. You can become your own influencer, an influencer of your life, for life.

While you may see the snippets of other people’s lives around you, do not allow those illusions of the perfect body, dream lifestyles, fantasy homes or other seemingly enviable aspects to dominate your thinking. Steadily more and more of us are becoming unhappy, disillusioned or even worse, as we compare our lives to the world of others.

Take the opportunity to look at your own life; realise and recognise all that you have achieved. In this way, you become your own influencer, a unique influencer. It can start with a very simple concept such as “I am enough”, or “I have achieved”. Establishing this self-influencer mindset will give you a newfound sense of happiness and contentment, allowing you to continue to influence your life for the better. Make the effort to create a mantra, which you repeat every morning or even throughout the day until it sinks in and your mind accepts it. As you allow this positive aspect to build within your life, you will begin to discover that many things are your own source of happiness. You will quickly realise that “I am enough, I have enough, I have always been enough and I always will be enough” can be very powerful tools as an influencer of your own life and destiny.

Recognising Destination Addiction

Be mindful of the destination addiction where you become fixated with the notion that happiness is elsewhere. Until you surrender that concept of happiness is in another place, it is going to never be where you are. So on examination what does this all mean? If you were to answer the question, do you live your life only to get to the end of it? Then most people would say unequivocally no. However in the world today, many people suffer from the belief that success or happiness is the destination. They are always on the run, on the move, and their goal seems to be to get through the day rather than live each day. Such people become addicted to the idea that the future is where success will be found, happiness resides, and that each intervening moment is just a means to get there.

Rather than living in the now, more and more people seem to be living in anything but the now, being psychologically absent and disregarding everything currently in their life. If you find that you are thinking this way, then you are falling into the trap of destination addiction. You continually chase the illusive notion of happiness and literally suffer from your pursuits. In this case, you may find that your goal has not been to enjoy the day, but instead, you have focused on getting through the day. You have always been focused on getting somewhere, foregoing the opportunities to savour the moments of life along the way. When you arrive at the destination, the feeling of success or happiness seems to elude you, as if it has somehow escaped to the next day, week or year. Then the feeling of satisfaction is continually deferred, and you end up living your life in hot pursuit of some extraordinary bliss which you have no idea how to find.

Social media and an era of excess make a major contribution to the pandemic of destination addiction. In the never-ending pursuit of happiness, you may find that you spend increasing amounts of time or money on trying to acquire happiness. But if you are being honest, how often have you found that the happiness so acquired was only temporary? This is made worse by people and companies peddling items and experiences to “totally change your life” or “make you happier than you ever dreamed possible”. Cars with the newest widgets, fancier clothing, more exquisite jewellery or even the latest gadget, can all be symptomatic of this underlying trend to feed destination addiction.

As increasing numbers of us become engrossed in destination addiction, as we tend to rush through as many experiences as quickly as possible. You may find that you start living by the adage of “been there, done that”. Life should not be about destinations or endings; if it were then life would be very different. If life were about the destination then you would only read the last page of any book, have deserts for meals, or only attended graduation day at school or college. Destination addiction is frequently an attempt to get on with life faster, hoping that you will enjoy your life better. Yet constant rushing through life frequently means that you will miss or bypass golden opportunities along the way. In this way, destination addiction is working against you, as you become too busy or too focused on the objective to be aware of life happing around you. It can become increasingly easy to feel empty as if your life is lacking any meaning.

If you are prone to overthinking, then destination addiction is the perfect setup for failure. It can become very common for people to trade short-term gratification in the hope of reaching the ultimate goal. It could be manifest that happiness is the next deal, the next high, the next acquisition, the next drink, or even something seemingly as silly as the next hot-fudge sundae. In all these instances realise that your mind is overthinking and making you believe the proverbial adage that the grass is greener over the next hill. Destination addiction can cause you to become impatient as you attempt to reach your goal. You then end up with little time for yourself and grow evermore impatient as the destination always seems just out of reach.

It is important to be aware that none of us is immune to destination addiction, and we all have times when we have to convince ourselves that better times are ahead. The trouble with destination addiction is that it focuses purely on the end and not on purpose. Fortunately, there is an excellent remedy for destination addiction, but it is often hard to find.

The key to defeating destination addiction is to find happiness in the life you have and to achieve the goals that are important to you, not what you believe will impress everyone else. When you declare that you are content with what you have, where you are and who you are, it is possible to break out of this addiction. You may then find that you begin to live more in the now and savour the full experiences that life avails to you every day. You can then live intelligently with purpose, make the means the end, and also the end the means. Then you may come to the realisation that true happiness never comes from a destination. Happiness comes from within us as you experience and live in the here and now.

Allow Your Life Force to Shine

As a being of energy and light, you come into this world with the capability to shine the light of your existence out into the world. However, for many of us, our light has become dim and smothered in many layers of emotions. These layers of emotions, particularly those relating to regrets, smother the light. It is like being covered in many thick layers of dirt or mud.

Take a moment to believe that what has been done, is in the past. If you allow yourself to let go of some of the regrets that you hold onto, then you will have the opportunity to remove some of the layers of emotion which cloud the splendour of your true self. As you remove some of these layers of proverbial mud, you have the opportunity for the light of your Life Force to shine out from the darkness. Allow the light of your Life Force to break through the emotional barriers and colour the world around you every day.

When Should I Meditate

A usual query which people ask is when should I meditate? While there may be various schools of thought on the topic, there is no golden rule as to when to practice meditation as it can be unique to each one of us as individuals. However, many meditation instructors do concur that the most important aspect is to create some time for you, regardless of the time of day or any kind of timetable.

While formal meditation practice in a peaceful location where you are less likely to be interrupted is optimal, there need be no reason why you cannot employ aspects of mindfulness and meditation at any other time in your life. Without a doubt, it can frequently be in these hectic or stressful moments when you require the benefits of your mindfulness or meditation practices the most.

There are lots of times all throughout the day when you can apply your attention to help bring elements of calmness within you. When you travel on a train or bus, you can bring your attention to your breath. As you stroll down the street or take a walk through the park, you could focus on the sounds you hear or the motion of your legs. These practical and straightforward aspects of mindfulness should be incorporated into your daily life, so that mindfulness is not something separate, but is part of living.

In a similar way undertaking full meditation activities must not be treated like a chore which is slotted into an established timeslot each week. While carrying out meditation at a particular time of day can be beneficial, the reason is that doing your meditations at an established time builds a sense of commitment and focus within your meditation practice. Some people discover that it is best to do their meditation in the morning, yet if you are proverbially not a morning person then forcing yourself to do a morning meditation can be counterproductive. Others find it is best to do meditation in the evening to help them unwind and destress from the day. You may find that practising meditation after eating can be less effective, as your physical body is more focused on digesting your food. However, some people have actually discovered that after eating, their body is focused on food digestion, so their minds can be more focused on meditation.

The takeaway from all of this is that meditation can be done at any time. Find a time which works for you, and make use of that time routinely when you are starting to meditate. Once you have become familiar with your meditation techniques and it has become integrated into your life, then there is absolutely no reason why you cannot do meditation at any time throughout the day or night. Ultimately the most important thing is that you invest the time to do meditation on a regular basis to ensure that it becomes a natural part of your life.

Most of the aspects of Breathe with Purpose and Life Force Mindfulness have been developed to make sure that they can be applied at any time. The key is that via practice and repetition, you program the activities into your mind so that they can be conveniently recalled and applied when they are needed.

Focus on What You can Change

Often in life, we become side-tracked by matters that annoy, upset or perturb us, which can lead to overthinking. When you start to overthink something, your mind can become overloaded and overwhelmed as associated thoughts and conditioned reactions are replayed over and over in your mind. The original thoughts have triggered conditioned thoughts, emotions, feelings and reactions. These aspects of overthinking can pull you down the path to additional worry, concern and sometimes stress.

At such time, if you were to stop or pause to carefully examine your life, you may discover that some of these matters are totally out of your control. You may realise there are some situations in life which you could not change in a proverbial million years. While we may recognise this in hindsight, many of us still attempt to change these apparently immutable aspects, which can lead to more anguish and upset emotions.

Rather than dwelling on what is beyond your control, you can choose to take a different path. Instead redirect your thinking to focus your intent on the things which you can change. As you begin to shift your focus, you will feel more in control of your life. Those aspects which you cannot control will usually lose some of their significance, or may completely fade away.

More than a Good Thought

There is a strong correlation between being happy and optimistic to being physically well. Typically, people who express positive thoughts and emotions are at a reduced risk of becoming ill. Feeling happy or having positive experiences is linked with better general health or more content living. So is there more to this than just positive thinking?

Yes, this is more than just thinking a good thought. Positive psychology is a branch of psychology focused on the character strengths and behaviours that allow individuals to build a life of meaning and purpose. While many other branches of psychology tend to focus on dysfunctional aspects of the human mind, positive psychology is centred on helping people become happier on many different levels. This new branch of psychology encompasses a variety of techniques that focus on developing positive thoughts, positive emotions, and developing positive experiences. You can see how this new form of psychology extends beyond thoughts alone to bring forward the complete picture of the human system of wellbeing.

Positive psychology is often confused with positive thinking, which is purely about thinking positive thoughts, rather than changing your way of thinking into a different frame of mind. Positive psychology works at a deeper level on improving our positive character traits, such as loyalty, humility and integrity. It does not discount that there are negatives that impact our lives. Instead, positive psychology aims to look at the situation to better understand human experiences and determine how to best foster positivity and good thinking. These aspects of positive thoughts are then reflected and reinforced by positive emotions and feelings. As we live in a physical world, if these positive thoughts, emotions and feelings can be bolstered by positive experiences, it creates a more powerful narrative than any of the elements individually. We can all leverage aspects of positive psychology so that we can thrive rather than just survive.

Bringing True Focus

The capability to really focus your mind is a pivotal aspect of any kind of meditation, mindfulness and certainly many facets in your life. If we were to evaluate the populace in its entirety, it would be discovered that a very small percentage of individuals have the inherent capacity to really focus and quieten their minds without concentration. While roughly two-thirds of the population will regularly struggle to bring focus to their minds. When your thoughts lack focus, it is akin to light travelling through a prism contrasted to light going through a magnifying glass. While the light transverses both the prism and the magnifying glass, what occurs to the light on the journey is very different. The same holds true of your thoughts, where you can learn how to focus your thoughts, as opposed to letting them become scattered or dispersed. This is becoming considerably more important as our awareness or attention spans are diminishing, along with our capacity to retain relevant information as a result of the arrival of social media and contemporary InfoTech.

What approaches can be utilised to aid in bringing true focus to your minds and thoughts and not on the occasional time that you remember to practice? Most techniques which are embodied in mindfulness and meditation can assist you to focus your thoughts, but you may wonder how can this work.

One of the most effective tools to achieve focus is Ekagrata. Though the techniques of Ekagrata are typically only beneficial for a tiny percentage of individuals who have actually been determined to tame their minds and invested the hours of training.

For a lot of people, making use of sounds such as chimes or gongs can provide an external stimulus which will assist in focusing your mind. People can then focus on the sound, as opposed to the various other thoughts which float around their minds. With this focus, you can then establish calmness within, which can then provide the basis for you to discover more advanced or sophisticated aspects of meditation.

Conscious breathing and techniques similar to Breathe with Purpose; which are free, can offer an alternative effective way to help focus the mind. Such techniques are notably beneficial for applying positive affirmations. These are just a few of the numerous techniques which can be leveraged to help you. The most important aspect is your ongoing efforts to bring focus to your thoughts.

Reconnect with Mindfulness

Increasingly more of us have ceased noticing many aspects of the world within and around us, especially when we live very busy lives. It is something which may not be immediately obvious as we are so entrenched in our lives. With an ever-changing world, it has become significantly easier to lose touch with the sensations of life and living. As we do, some of us start to act totally via conditioned thinking, apparently reacting unconsciously to life.

You do not need to change who you are or modify your beliefs to become a lot more self-aware. All of us have the capacity to be mindful, to take notice of and be aware of the here and now. The trick is discovering that impetus to break free from the thoughts which your mind generates to keep you living life mindlessly. Active intelligence is the act of engaging in your thought processes beyond unconscious thought, utilising both good judgment and awareness to make real choices. In all of this, it is awareness which is the fundamental key to activating choice in life.

Through the awareness of yourself and your life, which can be achieved via techniques such as mindfulness, you can break those patterns of unconscious thoughts or pre-programmed reactions. At its heart and core, the whole focus of mindfulness is about awareness. Whether that be awareness of a sensation in your body or of some other external subject, the objective is the same. The objective is to focus your mind away from the everyday thoughts of your mind.

So if you find that you have actually stopped noticing the worlds around or within you, spend some time reconnecting with your real intentions with life force mindfulness.

Meditating with a Noisy Mind

The utmost goal for anyone undertaking meditation is to realise a tranquillity of the mind. However, the majority of us have noisy minds and attaining this preeminent state of a quietness of mind is seriously difficult to achieve. Yet having a noisy mind, does not mean that you cannot meditate, it merely means that you need to take a different approach in which you discover how to become the master of your mind.

If you have a noisy mind, trying to achieve silence of your mind may be tough to achieve. Frequently your very own efforts to quieten the mind will restock your mind with the noise of thoughts comparable to those which you are attempting to remove. Your mind might seemingly inject thoughts such as “I can’t stop thinking” or “I do not know if I am doing this right” feeding the increasing levels of noise as your mind tries to persevere control. This can reveal just how much attention most of us pay to our mind, listening to every single thought which it raises every day.

While you may not have the ability to achieve a quietness of mind at the outset, it is very important that you must not give up. You just need to discover an alternative means to focus your mind. Some people find success in creating a space in between their thoughts of their noisy minds. While others can discover success by learning to become the observer of their thoughts, as if they were being played out on a movie screen. Others may find that listening to a gong or similar tone can assist by the sound becoming the focus of the mind away from the endless stream of thoughts. In all of these ways to accomplish meditation success, the key, whether apparent or not has been on achieving some focus for your mind. The distinction being, that as you come to be that master, you can learn to focus your mind, thereby banishing the noise of your thoughts to the background. So even though your mind is not quiet, you can achieve meditation with focus. Then overtime, you will find that as you repeatedly take control of your mind and focus on meditation, these other thoughts will drift further into the background, so you may attain success.

More than Enough

It has become incredibly easy to be engulfed in your anxieties, concerns, and insecurities when a great deal of today’s culture and social norms seems to be based around the perception that everyone deserves something, whatever that may be. Sure it is alright and perfectly fine and reasonable to have big ambitions or goals in life. Where many of us struggle resides in balancing our hopes & dreams with the world in which we live. Aspects of depression, stress and anxiety can creep into your life and overwhelm your thoughts and emotions; result in being bogged in a quagmire of decreased pride or self-worth, as you become stuck in a self-defeating cycle of measuring your life to someone else’s.

If you find yourself in such a state of mind, then one simple little phrase of “I am enough” can be used to transform your thoughts. Repeating this thought on a regular basis can help give you a sense that everything is okay. This allows you to instil a new found sense of happiness or inner contentment, transforming the direction of your life for the better.

Change with IOEA

Throughout the day your conscious and unconscious minds take in all forms of information and sensory perception. Your minds not only process all of this information but also reacts to this stimuli, whether it is right, wrong, sometimes inappropriate or at other times seemingly indifferent.

The simple mantra of IOEA (Inhale, Observe your breath, Exhale, Awareness of your thoughts) applied as you breathe can help you moderate your reactions and allow you to choose how you will respond in life. As you Inhale, simply take the moment to Observe your breath. Do not try to overcomplicate things, as this simple act of Inhaling and Observing will allow you to pause any seemingly unconscious reaction. Then as you Exhale, take the moment to apply some Awareness to your thoughts and thinking. You may find for more difficult situations that you will need to repeat the cycle of IOEA a few times so that your unconscious thoughts or reactions do not see the light of day. Instead, with awareness, you may choose to respond differently rather than reacting.

Everyday Kindness

Kindness is greater than merely an elementary word or a disposable expression. The real intent of kindness is manifest by means of your thoughts and actions every single day. Kindness is personified with the inner countenances of harmlessness, which can aid you to re-establish the balance in your life and redress the karma we all carry. Come to be that individual of true and unquestionable kindness to expand happiness and no hurt into the world around you.

The Sixth Sense

You may believe we have more than five senses, however, one sense is routinely neglected. That is common sense, as it appears to be seldom acknowledged and frequently in short supply. Your sixth (common) sense is not a conventional sense of the physical body. You may identify that common sense is not intrinsic in everyone to a similar degree, rather it is derived from awareness and is an integral part of your thought processes.

Encountering your common sense is about becoming more aware, taking the bigger picture into view and taking into consideration the effects of any one of your thoughts or actions. As you become more mindful of your common sense, you may sometimes feel through the pit of your stomach. At other times, common sense or sound judgement can seem akin to the quiet whisper originating from the back of your head, informing you to be aware or do something another way.

Throughout your day, ask yourself if you have suitably considered your thoughts or actions. Being aware of the repercussions of any thoughts or actions can be the most significant step in learning how to tap into your sixth (common) sense.

Focus on Change

Many times in life, we are distracted by things that upset us, cause worry or tension. If you were to closely examine your life, you would find many aspects appear to be out of your control. However, many people continue to try to change these seemingly immovable things in life.

 

To bring about some true and meaningful change, focus your intentions on the things in life which you can change, rather than dwelling on what apparently is out of your control.